Welcome

Well I guess this is a welcome to me. A place to finally open up about things that are going on in my life that are a bit overwhelming to say the least. For anyone who might read this let me first introduce myself. My name is Ashley. I'm 25 yrs old and a mother to an angel. I work as a paramedic, I've been one for 6 years now. I've had a heck of a ride these past... lets say 2 years. In the past 2 years I've had 2 miscarriages, one at 6 weeks and one at 7... barely knew I was pregnant obviously, but still struggling with infertility. I was told that I would not be able to concieve children naturally without assistance in some way or another. Then, SUPRISE! After months of thinking that I had the most severe acid reflux in the world, sicker than a dog, having several tests done, and scheduling a reconstructive surgery on my stomach for the extreme reflux they find out I'm 12 weeks pregnant! Whoa, kinda changes things a big I'd say...I was recently single after about 8 months, so that was an akward conversation to say the least, and uh least was his response. First reaction was asking me to abort or adopt. Yeah, right. So I knew right where he stood from the beginning. Looks like I'm going this one alone...well not TOTALLY alone. Me and my little bean:)Little did I know how much that little man would change me into a woman... a real woman. Not some fake woman who just kinda fumbles her way through life, following whoever will lead her, having no real faith in anything, drinking to much, smoking to much, living in the ungodly way for sure. I learned to lean on those that love me, trust in the Lord, forgive myself, forgive others for their stupidness too, have the courage to get up out of bed everyday and go into the world for him, and wait patiently for the day to come when Pres will meet me at the gates. What a sweet day that will be. Funny thing, that even though I'm so angry with God most days the only real peace I have is 1 hr a week when I'm sitting in His house. So welcome to my journey...welcome.